Remembering Mommy

Mommy died 7 years ago this past week. I tried not to think about it too much. Every time I wrote the date down, November 8, or every time my little girl asked me what the date was for a work assignment, my heart dropped a little. I try not to think about her death too much. It was a really hard time for me. It was hard visiting the hospital daily, and seeing my mother in the state she was in. I really never thought that she would die there in the hospital. I remember the thought crossing my mind, but I didn't dwell on it. When she actually passed away, it was hard to believe for a while. My mother actually died. She actually died. It was like a dream. Actually, most of the time surrounding her death, before and after was like a dream.

It did make eternity much more real for me. I never thought about heaven as much as I did during that time. It was weird thinking that my mother was in our presence one moment, and ushered into the presence of God the next moment.

Fall has always been a wonderful time of the year for me. I love the fall. It is my favorite season, but since Mommy passed away, it now makes fall bittersweet. I still enjoy it, and look forward to it, but the change in the seasons also brings back to mind the emotions I felt during the time that my mother passed away.

My mother was 46 when she died.

Shane and I found out that we were expecting our first baby a month after my mother died. She never met any of her grandchildren. My children never met their grandmother. That has been a hard thing for me, but I am thankful for God's providence. He is sovereign.